In a big announcement this morning, Starbucks has introduced two new beverage sizes to its U.S. stores: the Plenta and the Micra.
Hugh Mungis, Starbucks VP of Volume issued the following statement:
Whether customers are looking for a large or small size, the Plenta and the Micra satisfy all U.S. and Canada customers’ needs for more and less coffee. Our size selection is now plentiful.
Republicans have responded by saying “Hell No, You Can’t” and blasting this as a direct result of the recently signed health care reform (HCR) legislation.
House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) also blasted the new Plenta size as an “attempt by Democrats to kill Grandma and Grandpa.” He also noted that this new size would cause health care costs to “skyrocket.”
Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Michael Steele was most concerned about the Micra size. He worries that children will become “hooked” on Starbucks’ caffeinated beverages and that the HCR provision that allowed for this was nothing more than a “giveaway” to Democrats liberal friends (e.g. Starbucks). He argued that with all of the problems we are facing, there is certainly a “better way to spend money.”
Rep. Rob Wittman (R-Montross) of Virginia’s First Congressional District was most concerned on the environmental impact of the Plenta-sized cup. Having attained no significant legislative accomplishments, since being elected in 2007, and having the notoriety of being ranked as of one of the 10 least effective members of Congress, Wittman has decided to change his image and take a stand on this “travesty” by Democrats.
He will introduce a bill tomorrow that will mandate that the Plenta-sized cup be recycled and reused for other purposes. He suggests that the Plenta-sized cup could be used as a popcorn receptacle, rain hat, perennial planter, lampshade, yoga block, milk dish for kittens, soft boiled egg cup or a paper clip holder.
Tea Party folks are also outraged that these new sizes will only be available for coffee-based beverages and not tea. They argue that this is a “huge” waste of taxpayer funds, especially when they receive no direct benefit from the legislation. They have threatened to board any Starbucks truck carrying these new sizes and “destroy the cups.”